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The new messaging system

In the past few weeks we received much feedback and many questions concerning our messaging system. We decided to gather the most relevant questions of our users on this page.

Stefanie is editor at Aupair World and is glad to answer your questions.

Next topics:

• Working hours
• USA

Do you have any questions concerning these topics?
Send them to stefanie@aupair-world.net indicating your name, country of origin and host country or country of residence.

I've sent an application to a host family, but they haven't replied yet. Can I write them again?
(Au pair Janina, Germany)

Our messaging system is based on the ping-pong principle. This means that you cannot write a second message to the host family. You just have to wait for their answer. Please try to be a little more patient: your host family has probably got a lot to do and will most likely send you a reply later.

The most important thing is that both of you always make a conscious decision when replying. This will protect you from unwanted applications. Think about this aspect, too: only those who are truly interested in you, will answer your message quickly. Thus, you can find out straight away who is really interested in your profile and who is not. If there is a mutual interest, you should exchange your contact details (such as e-mail addresses and telephone numbers) and start contacting each other. Before signing the au pair contract, you should meet in advance (on Skype for example) and agree upon the most important aspects of the placement. Then you are ready to start on your adventure! Good luck.

I have just become a Premium Member. Can I break the ping-pong principle?
(Host father Etienne, France)

Yes, you can. Thanks to the function "Write once more" you can break the ping-pong principle with the au pairs to whom you already sent a message. Here is how it works: as soon as you become a Premium Member, you are allowed to send another message to the au pairs to whom you already sent a standard message. In other words, you will be able to inform them that you have become a Premium Member and also have the chance to send them your contact details. After you have used this function within a conversation, the ping-pong principle regains its validity. Remember: you won't be able to break the ping-pong principle with the au pairs to whom you did not write a message before becoming a Premium Member. From the moment you become a Premium Member, though, you will always be able to send them your personal messages, if it is your turn.
 

I've sent an application to a family. Can I withdraw it? I've tried to delete it from my "Sent messages" but it didn't work.
(Au pair Marta, Spain)

Dear Marta, as you can see, we are not perfect (yet), but thank you for every suggestion. The ping-pong principle also applies when you wish to delete a message. You can only delete a message if it is your turn to reply. This means that if you wish to withdraw a sent application, you need to wait for the family's answer. Only at that point you will be able to send a negative answer and delete the entire conversation. We are currently working on a function, which will allow our users to delete a conversation at any time - no matter if it is your turn to reply or not.

I've sent a negative answer to an au pair but now I want to contact him again. Is it possible to do that? 
(Host mum Elisabeth, United Kingdom)

It is not possible to re-start a conversation which was already ended. The reason is that we wish to aim at a more earnest and better thought through communication. Another reason is to avoid misunderstandings. Earnestness, honesty and respect are important values to take into account before making a decision. This will also protect you from applications which do not match your criteria. For this reason, we suggest that you take your time to read every single profile carefully, in order to understand if you are well matched with your au pair or host family. You choose with whom you get in touch or which conversation you wish to end. To inform the other person of your decision, you simply need to answer with "yes" or "no". Keep in mind that a "no" is final. Please only send a negative reply if you are 100% sure of your decision.

If you are really interested in an au pair, you should become a Premium Member, exchange your e-mail and telephone number and continue your conversation using these other means of communication.  

How come I can write personal messages? Have I automatically become a Premium Member?
(Au pair Elena, Greece)

Dear Elena, do not worry, you have not become a Premium Member. If you do not choose to become one for yourself, we cannot make you become one automatically. On Aupair World, au pairs can always add their personal texts to their standard messages. Personal texts, though, can only be read by Premium Members. Since we believe that those who are financially better off (host families) should help those who are in a financially weaker position (au pairs), we assume that most families will become Premium Members.

You can become a Premium Member even if you are an au pair. In order to exchange personal contact details and to be able to read and write personal messages to each other, only one of you needs to be a Premium Member. You can continue your open conversations including after your Premium Membership has expired.    

We wish to thank all our users who sent us their feedback and their opinions on our messaging system. Unfortunately, we cannot answer all of your questions on this page. For this reason, we suggest that you have a look at some useful links: How to use the messaging system, How to contact au pairs, The advantages of the messaging system, How to become a Premium Member,

Auf Deutsch: Thema Nachrichtensystem – eure Fragen!
In English: Topic messaging system - your questions!
En Français: Le système de messagerie - vos questions !
In Italiano: Tema: il sistema di messaggistica - le vostre domande!
In het Nederlands: Het berichtensysteem - jullie vragen!